Multicultural competence and student affairs

I am at the 2nd World Conference of Women's Shelters currently, and there are 92 countries represented here. It is amazing to see this kind of diversity, and it is something I have never been exposed to in such an extreme way. I was thinking about the fact that the conference has an official language of English. I have been amazed, though I know that many countries learn English as a secondary language. I've thought about all of the times I have heard students complain about their tutors and requesting a native English speaker because they can't understand their tutor. Some people defend these students because they shouldn't have to work so hard to understand when they are obviously already having difficulty with the class. I disagree. This inability to learn how to understand others' accents when they took the time to learn another language is absolutely ridiculous. I was thinking about the fact that I only understand very little Spanish and cannot speak it. I can read some and understand very little spoken word. I need to learn Spanish, and I know this. I want to, because I think it is ridiculous that we are so arrogant as Americans to expect everyone in the world to know English.

How will this attitude impact my work as a student affairs professional? Well, I was thinking about how I would feel if people made fun of my accent or were unwilling to work with me if I went to another country to live, if only for a little bit. It didn't feel good. After graduation, I'm going to make an effort to try to learn at least Spanish. I am still doing a lot of thinking about this, but being here and listening to people speak and understanding has made me think the world is so small now.

Wow!

I have to say that I cannot believe that I am done with presenting my capstone now.  It seems really early. I'm very glad to be done with presenting, but am going to have to make sure that I do not check out of the classes that I am in now and keep going!

I made the decision at the end of last week to go to ACPA.  It was a difficult decision for me, because I am so paranoid about not getting a job.  I had to then join ACPA and pay for the registration.  I am going to hopefully get some interviews through that, but I am not holding my breath that anything will be incredibly fruitful.  Hopefully, however, I have a good time, learn some things, and interview a few places.  I had a very difficult time justifying spending that large amount of money when I could save it in case I don't find a job before graduation.  Ultimately, however, I thought I should go for the experience.

I'm really looking forward to going now.  For some reason, I'm feeling a little bit less anxiety.  For the past couple of weeks, I was not the most pleasant person in the world to be around.  Hopefully things will turn around!

If I Could Go Back in Time

This job search is consuming most of my thoughts and time.  On Monday, I give my final presentation, and I'm excited.  I'm also hoping that I don't just check out of school afterward with the focus I am having on the job search and the anxiety I am feeling.  I really don't like the feeling of not having control over where my life is going, and not knowing where I'm going to be living 6 months from now does not help.  I can't re-sign the lease on my apartment because I don't want to put myself in a financial bind, which means I'll be moving no matter what happens.  On one hand, it's okay because I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay in the apartment I am in right now, anyway.  On the other hand, it means I may be scrambling to find a place to live come May-July.  You know, depending on what happens.  It's driving me to be not incredibly happy in general, and I'm trying to work against it by doing things that make me happy and being as organized as possible.

The job search is also making me feel inadequate.  I know I've had very valuable experiences and I am good at a great many things, but when I look at my accomplishments, I can't help but compare and criticize myself for not doing enough in lieu of taking care of myself and my relationship.  I was talking to a friend last night about what I would do if I could go back in time, and I decided I would go back to my 18 year-old self and say "Start learning to love yourself now, because it isn't always easy."  And that has been true for me for a long time, and it makes me sad to think about.  At what point did I stop loving myself despite my perceived flaws or shortcomings?  How much more could I really do and be happy?  Sometimes I feel like it is a catch-22--I feel unhappy because I don't do enough and wonder how much more I could do to be happy with myself.  It's something I've been thinking a lot about lately.  I'm really just getting in my own way.

Job interviews... lacking motivation

I had an interview this morning with the Dept. of Residence at ISU for a Hall Director position.  They don't actually know if they're going to have any positions available, and my interview is 3 weeks before they are going to OPE at the beginning of March to interview a bunch of other people.  I feel like the deck is stacked against me on this one.  I am doing a practicum right now is one of the residence halls on campus, and I feel like it is going well.  That is the extent of my residence life experience, beyond living in the residence halls and university apartments all during my undergraduate career.  So, what was the first question?  Describe my residence life experience.  I don't think I fumbled, but that was not what I was prepared to ask.  Why do I *want* to work in residence life was a question I was prepared to ask.  I don't have that experience, and that's why I'm trying to get it.  I think I have a lot of transferable skills.  Beyond that, they only asked 4-5 questions total, which, if I'd known that, I would have talked more during my answers to be able to talk about the experiences I knew I wanted to talk about.  I don't feel like it was bad or that I didn't do well at all, but I also don't feel like it was awesome.  I feel pretty blah about it.  That's not a great way to feel.  

I am really excited about potentially getting the job, because I think it would be an excellent experience that I want to have, at the place I want to be, but I don't know if that is going to happen.  And now, I don't really feel like I have the motivation to keep applying and keep applying, which isn't good at the beginning of February.  I will just continue to reflect on the conversation we had during the interview and try to come up with something to take away from it.